sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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