I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i would punch a child for taco bell
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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