and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
