i just wanna soil my oats bro
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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