so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize