I don't remember. Are we still dating?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
