this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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