so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize