She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize