I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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