I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
