You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
