ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
