you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize