See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
