nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
