her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
