Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize