People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
