if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
