I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
