Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
