Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
