I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
