How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
