We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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