Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
