I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
