I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
