I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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