Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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