can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
