Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize