Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
