Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
