I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
