There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
