i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize