This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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