Have you finally orgasmed yet?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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