As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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