She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
