His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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