Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
