i think my mom watched the whole time
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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