dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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