Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
