Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
