Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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