its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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