"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
