I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
