how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
