I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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