I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
