I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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