She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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