Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
