it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
