Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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