RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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