It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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