Betty ford says i'm here all night
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
