just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
