just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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