sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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